Ask for help in the moment, humble yourself, and say, “Lord, I need you to be with me right now.” God is willing and eager to be our strength, our wisdom, to lift us when we can’t walk and fill us with His presence; we need only ask.

When I was first called to Gateway Woods as a houseparent, I was extremely shy and restrained, unsure how to be appropriately social and mostly unwilling to be myself around others. At the time, I was confused about God’s will for me, because surely the all-knowing would know that I wasn’t fit for a job that requires near-constant social interaction. I’m only human, and I’m aware that I can be quite blind when it comes to what’s best for me to grow and learn. 

So, I accepted (mostly) that being a houseparent was what God needed from me and tried my best to fill the role, only to discover that my social battery was clearly not up to the task. Not even a year into the mission, I began to feel burned out and empty, unable to keep up with the amount of love, effort, and care that my kids needed. After each day, I would get home feeling exhausted, and despite praying each night for strength and wisdom from the Lord and seeking rejuvenation from His Word, I was just as tired and emotionally drained the next day. This pattern continued until I finally gave up trying to push through my weakness, my human limits. 

It had been a particularly challenging afternoon with one of my kids who was mad at me, and when I finally got a moment alone, I threw my hands up in frustration (and mild hysterics) to declare to God that I couldn’t do it anymore. “I give up,” I said. “I can’t do this if you don’t give me the strength, the grace, the wisdom, all of the things I’m missing.” In response, God drew my attention to a large, exceedingly obvious puzzle piece I had tossed away to focus on the wrong issue—the Holy Spirit. Wyatt, I felt God say, I’ve given you the strength and wisdom and all the other things you ask for, you just haven’t accepted them yet. I was irritated with him when he made that statement. “Not accepted them? My hands are open, where’s your help at?” When I asked for the Holy Spirit to help me each evening, what was I missing? 

It’s simple, once I stopped being stubborn and ceased waiting until the chaos calmed to ask for help. I needed to reach out right when I was feeling overwhelmed, when I was not enough. Rather than waiting until the end of the day to ask for help  the next time I need it, I need to lean on the Holy Spirit when I need it. Crazy, huh? I was too stubborn to ask for help in the moment, to humble myself and say, “Lord, I need you to be with me right now.” God is willing and eager to be our strength, our wisdom, to lift us when we can’t walk and fill us with His presence; we need only ask. 

Philippians 4:13, Isaiah 40:31 and 41:10, Psalm 46:1