"Our prayer as we move forward and get new kids and kids leave; is that God can bring us the ones that need us the most and that God can use us in their lives"

“Don’t take this kid,” Ben and I emphatically told our alternates (the houseparent couple who were taking over for us) as we went off duty.

Before each resident is placed at Gateway Woods, we receive a file with their information and then the houseparents on duty and other residential staff members interview them to decide if they are a good fit for our residential program.

Sometimes when you read the file of a potential resident, you think, “Maybe we could handle them,” and sometimes you are sure they are beyond your ability to work with. For whatever reason, the team who interviewed “Joel” saw past what we saw and decided to take him. We were to pick him up from a juvenile detention center the next week. My heart was full of dread and doubts that we could do this.

When Ben picked Joel up, it was clear they were both nervous. No one knew what we were getting into. For the first months I had my guard up to him. He was manipulative (as he had learned to be) and lied like it was nothing. I didn’t trust him, but Ben had a soft spot for him. It is good that Ben and I work together because we often balance each other out when it comes to resident relationships.

Over time Joel started to soften and open up to us. The comments started with “it’s just so nice to have a table.”

“What do you mean by that, Joel?”

“Where I come from, we would just take food back to our rooms and eat separately.”

“But you had a table if you wanted to eat together, right?”

“No,” was his response, “we just got food off the counter.

Then it was the track meet Ben took him to. “Thanks for being there for me, Ben.” A truly sincere thank you for an act so small. And it wasn’t just the comments. It was seeing him develop in his newfound sobriety. When a 5k was offered at Gateway I offered the residents participation (and a free t-shirt) if they would do 15 practice runs before the event. Joel realized he loved running. He would comment after every run, “Man, I just feel SO good.”

Watching him grow was truly rewarding. Were there difficulties? Yes. He had never been taught how to build healthy relationships. So, when it was convenient for him, he was deceptive. We had to teach him and learn together about trust. His growth was awesome to see. When he arrived, he was lazy and bored all the time. I remember distinctly one evening having to tell him about 8 times to find something to do and he got so mad at me because “there’s nothing to do.” Fast forward 3 months later, and Ben would say, “Hey Joel, we’re going to go weed the flower bed,” and he would hop up out of the chair willingly to follow Ben outside. It was as if he found purpose and realized how much he could enjoy work (or maybe just being with Ben).

There is much more I could say about Joel, but I want to end by praising the Lord that he does not give up on us. He seeks out the lost sheep. He is the faithful shepherd. Our prayer as we move forward and get new kids and kids leave; is that God can bring us the ones that need us the most and that God can use us in their lives. We feel so humbled to be a part of the story for these kids. We pray God can give us the stamina to keep pressing onward and pushing into kids that push back. His love for these kids will be the love that sustains us. Thank you for your prayers for this ministry.